Positive Child Performer Role Models (or, 'I ain't no Dina Lohan!')

For those of you biz moms, you know you've heard it -- either you've been compared to Dina Lohan or someone has insinuated your child is destined for a life of DUI, jail stints, and early burnout.  Sure, there are horror stories.  And there are horror stories that take great turns (love me some Drew Barrymore!).  So when you need a positive story of the power of wonderful things child performers can get out there and do, check out this fifteen year old (you may recognize her from the sitcom 'Blackish")...click on her name for a New York Times story: Yara Shahidi

What is a “busy” child model?

I have a model-mom friend (shout out!) who is great at helping me with blog topics.  A few days ago, she asked, “What is a ‘big booker’?”  I thought for a few minutes, and told her something like this.

Some of the biggest bookers I know can book 2-3 times a week, let’s say, 35 weeks of the year.  New York’s busy season is basically between late February / early March (late February castings for early March shoots) until mid-October.  Those are the shooting times for major back-to-school and holiday ad campaigns.  Some companies shoot year ‘round in NYC, so there is regular work to be found all year…and of course the stores that advertise weekly (like Target and Macy’s) are always shooting.  The only absolutely dead time is around December 20 until January 15 or so.

So back to the kid who works 60-75 times a year.  That’s a major booker, and they are few and far between.  You will hear from their parents that they are crazy busy when they are “in size” (fitting into common sample sizes) and that some clients will fiddle with the clothes to fit the model.  These are kids we might call “the face of” some brand.  For example, I have two friends whose daughters shot for Hanna Andersson for many seasons…and you would know their faces.  I know a couple of boys, too, who have had regular gigs with Hanna and J. Crew.  They also shoot for tons of other brands on a regular basis, so these are like the child supermodels.

I would say the next category of kid books on average once a week.  These are also faces you’d recognize, and very successful models.  I would still call them big bookers.  Then there are regular bookers – who probably book 3-4 times a month.  When my daughter was a size 3, she fit into that category.  She had steady enough work to keep us hopping, for sure…and I think for our life (and distance from NYC) that was a pretty good balance for us.

For the past ten months or so, as a size 4, my daughter booked more like 1.5 times a month (but a lot of that was clumped together in the summer, so it seemed busy then) which was still enough for us to feel like she was “in the business” while she was also busy with lots of activities (this year we ended up with Girl Scouts, karate twice a week, ballet, AND she’s performing in the Nutcracker…so that’s two rehearsals a week and all of the tech work is coming up soon).  It seems to me that most moms outside of those “big booker” categories would be happy to be in the 2-3 times a month category – just busy enough.

At some point, I should tackle the whole “pulling from school” issue we face.  But that's a topic for a different day!

Booking alone isn’t what makes models busy.  There are go-sees, which can be 1-3 or 4 times a week during busy seasons, depending on size (as always, sample sizes go out a lot more).  During the school year, they tend to be between 3:00 and 5:00, which can make for long days.

And I cannot forget about holds.  Even models who don’t book all that often have many holds.  Holds are a client’s way of saying “we might want to book this kid, so don’t book him/her for anything else.”  I think that even kids who get regular holds are “busy” models – they are on the radar at their agencies, and are very much in demand.  Some moms feel like they get a lot of holds and often there is a similar kid who books instead, but there is no scientific explanation for holds.  And if you’re a mom getting a lot of holds, your life feels as though you’re booked until 6:00 the night before – because that’s when you usually consider yourself officially released and you’ve probably already scrambled to clear next day and get babysitters for the other kids already.  That’s when you need to pour yourself a stiff drink, curse the client who didn’t book your kid – and hope they will next time.

What do you think?  Are my estimations off or on?  Give me some feedback here, on my Facebook page (The Bizzy Mama) or via email at thebizzymama@gmail.com.  You can also check out my Instagram TheBizzyMama for some booking photos (and maybe a pet shot or two).  As always, thanks for reading!

Petite Parade!

Ah, Petite Parade.  The allure!  The hustle!  The bustle!  A few years ago, when the event was a BIG event, all the model moms in the New York market would start in September or January (about two months before the event) to seek information about castings and designers.  The event used to be sponsored by Vogue Bambini magazine, which lent it a certain je ne sais quoi that involved one part kids’ couture, one part Milan, and two parts fashion week – a pretty cool recipe.  Some designers always went; some went in the spring or the fall; and some were surprises.  Each of the two days, a major company would open the show – Target, JC Penney, and Truly Scrumptious are the ones that immediately pop into my head.  Toward the end of the show on the second day, the editors of Vogue Bambini would style a “showcase” of two or three looks from emerging designers.  Each day might feature five or more designers, so there were a ton of kids involved.  It has gotten smaller over the past few cycles, down to one day and fewer household-name designers.  Apparently, it's quite expensive for designer to show their lines, and they have to cost-benefit analyze being part of the show.

When the show was bigger, several shows did castings through agencies.  While some shows have always relied on their designers, stylists and photographers to help with casting, those bigger brands and the Vogue Bambini show always did their castings through agencies.  It made the whole process more predictable (the castings would be the week before) and seemed to up the “hype” when the go-see requests would come out.  Of course, the model-mom grapevine would HEAT UP with scuttlebutt – what sizes are they casting?  What look?  Boys and girls?  The shows would have fittings the day before – and that’s when the clothes were revealed.  Cool, if you ask me.  But the clothes tend to be secondary to the whole excitement of the process.

Two times we did Petite Parade my daughter was scheduled to walk in an early show and a late show, which meant a whole day there – call time is three hours before the show (hairstyles typically took a long time, but most of it was waiting around – designers don’t want ANY anxiety about late arrivals) so I would literally pack as if I were going to be stranded on an island.  A bag of toys and amusements for the kids that could be spread over several kids and not be any big deal if lost or left behind (dollar spot Target helped me there) was essential – my daughter was really young (that means got bored easily) for those first few shows, and I needed to keep her happy for hours.  The biggest hit among all the kids were a couple of bags of multi-colored vampire teeth…lots of cute pictures that time.  Adult amusements were essential, which meant food and wine.  Yes, wine.  By the third go ‘round, I brought a box of wine.  Quantity, not quality was the order of the day (although my sommelier friend – shout out! – has never let me live it down…checkout HER wine blog here) – and enough people had a nip to help the hours pass relatively painlessly.  This is also where I would pack the power strip I mentioned in my model-mom bag post – I learned that after my first year, when probably 100 parents were in a studio with maybe 4 outlets.  It’s important to note here that a large chunk of the excitement about your kid walking in Petite Parade is the opportunity to hang out with a ton of other parents.

Meanwhile, the kids would be readied by designers and stylists.  In the years of the bigger shows, it was in an adjacent studio, behind a magic curtain.  Not really a great place for keeping an eye on your kids, but the parents would be taking turns peeking in to make sure all the kids were doing well.  And they loved the whole thing too – it was like a playdate for them, as we often say.  In more recent shows, the parent area and the staging area were more combined which upped the hectic factor multiple times, but some of us preferred to have a better view of our kiddos.  About an hour before each show, kids would do a practice walk down the runway and learn how to stop and pose at the end.  A photographer, Richard Renda, led that process from the photo pit, and he made sure every kid knew how to stop, gaze at the photographers, and wait for him to send them back.  Despite decent rehearsals, my daughter quite notoriously bucked those instructions back when she was three, and developed her own trademark style for the runway – one time she was super shy and kind of froze and the next time she leapt down the runway (to Katy Perry’s “Roar” – totally fitting).  The older kids always did muuuuuch better.  Parents could watch the rehearsals, because there were no guests in the studio – which brings me to parents watching the actual shows.

It’s important to remember that the shows are for invited guests – store buyers, fashion bloggers, trend watchers and a couple of VIPs (P. Diddy made an appearance one time to watch his daughters).  Parents were allowed to filter in once all of the guests were seated, and maaaaybe there would be seats (and swag bags!) available.  Otherwise, it was standing room only.  One time, the showrunners did not let parents into the main studio for the show, and that caused a major freak out – parents want (and pretty much need, legally speaking, according to child performer labor laws) to see what their kids are doing, and needless to say some phone calls got made and parents were allowed in for the next show. 

After the runway, the routine was for the kids to be photographed backstage for the designers so they would have crisp, clear pictures of their lines.  The method for doing this changed based on the photographer – sometimes it would be an organized lineup and other times it was a little more catch-as-catch-can.  Then poof – get the clothes off and head on home.  For the most part, you could count on some exhaustion and probably a headache from both the noise and the tension of keeping your kid human for so many hours (at least for me).  You may or may not have a hairspray and bobby pin situation to work out when you got home.

The next part is actually just about as exciting as the runway itself.  Trawling social media in the hours after the show – hoping to see your kid!  Obsessing over photo sites online – like Getty Images and Shutterstock – to see pics of your kid.  Stalking YouTube to see if anyone filmed the shows – to see your kid.  Friends sharing pics – and again, you’re hoping to see your kid.  Discovering new photographers – to see your kid!  It sounds kind of creepy, but it’s actually a lot of fun.

So that’s a rundown.  The actual event itself is hectic.  I guarantee if you plop a casual observer into the whole experience, you might get a “Why the EFF do you do this?”  But, for many model moms, the whole thing is a ton of fun.  You also hear a few “Never again!”s, but really…it’s like labor – you forget, and there you are the next time, carrying your box of wine and vampire teeth.

A final word to any grammarians out there -- sorry about all the switches in verb tense...I found myself telling about past events but incorporating ongoing opinions...and I realize it may be a mess.

Check me out on Instagram at TheBizzyMama, my Facebook page (not much going on there, honestly, but I like the likes!) or shoot me an email at thebizzymama@google.com.  I spend a lot of time studying anatomy and physiology these days, but I’d love to hear what you want me to write about.

It's Air Biz.  Photo credit: Lev Radin

Feast or famine…drought or deluge…or whatever. (Just an update.)

So big changes in Bizzy-land…I’ve gone back to school!  I’m basically doing a pre-med curriculum at the local community college in preparation for applying to – wait for it – nursing programs.  I’m taking night classes, which feature amazing casts of characters (exotic dancer!) about whom I’d love to write someday.  Community college is a great democratizing institution – you have people sitting in a classroom with great careers and prestigious degrees all the way down to clueless eighteen-year-olds just trying to get some credits under their belt.  I took Biology over the summer and now I’m taking Chemistry and what I can only term “BOOT CAMP” Anatomy & Physiology I with a professor who has the reputation of being THE HARDEST A&P professor of any state institution from UCONN on down.  I really didn’t expect to be diagnosing skin cancer in lab in week two.  But I digress!

So it’s been busy for me to say the least.  I thought I’d give you a glimpse of what’s been going in on the child-performer side of my world.  I’ve kvetched a bit in the past few months about the slow size 4, but there have been some slightly regular opportunities lately…they’ve just come all at once!  We had a few clusters of bookings over the summer.  Two weeks ago I got a deluge of emails from the agency.  In a three hour period I was notified of two go-sees the next day, a decent booking for two days later, and two holds for the following week.  We managed to hit both go-sees pretty smoothly.  Two go-sees and the round trip in six hours highlighted by one parking garage in-and-out in under half an hour – $9 score! – and one free on-street parking spot.  Didn’t book…but whatever, we got out there.  The job the following day was crazy far in southern Jersey, but it was an 8-hour gig to make up for it and we really didn’t hit any ridiculous traffic.  Far more stressful was the fact that my son’s car broke down (I let him drive my car for a few days) and I scratched my rental when pulling over for three police vans on W. 26^th Street BUT saved myself by buying the extra insurance coverage FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER (totally got a weird feeling that I should and I am GLAD I DID!).

Last week was dead.  The holds last week fell through (for the better, since I had to study for my first test in Boot Camp A&P).  Friday afternoon we got another set of holds for this coming week (one for some app and one for a department store) and an audition for a film tomorrow afternoon.  Another race to the city and get to class in Northwestern Connecticut afternoon, but hey, if it’s not ridiculous it must not be my jam.

I’ll keep you posted.  Back to studying my histology slides and fetal pig organs!

The Business or the Bullsh!t

Ahhh, back at the computer.  I took a class this summer!  That kept me b-u-s-y.  More on that in the future, but it’s over…and a few days later I had a septoplasty (that’s like, a nose job without the nose…but I had a really freaky septum that’s now a week post-op and is healing very well) so I’ve been a little preoccupied.  But here I am, Peroni beside me and the Real Housewives of NYC reunion on the TV…life is good.

I thought I’d start, actually, with a quote from a Housewife.  Dorinda, the newest NYC Housewife this year, told Sonja Morgan – while Sonja was in a babbling drunken stupor, what else is new – that “Money talks and wealth whispers.”  Let me set this up another way, as well, because I’m not talking at all about money, per se.  Here in CT there are plenty of colleges.  Let’s use two for my example.  One advertises everywhere: billboards, bus stops, on the radio, on television.  They are trying to build their brand and attract students and they shout it from the hilltops.  (I think their marketing is fantastic! …My buddy is their marketing director.)  For my contrasting example I’ll just say: Yale.

Do you see what I’m getting to here?  IN YOUR FACE versus subtlety.  Having to say it all versus speaking for itself.  You need to tell people versus…people just know.

I’m going back to a topic from the beginning of this blog journey, but I know I’m reaching more people now and I want to emphasize some points.  What a parent wants in an agent, I had asked (and answered) before.  I’m still basically addressing the same thing here, but I want to hit on a few things because there has been this ALL OUT WAR on the Backstage child modeling message board.  If you don’t read it, I would say…probably not the time to start.  If you’re going to have surgery and will be severely limited by your pain vs narcotic levels, maybe hit it up between sleeps because hopefully you will forget it all as though it never happened.  (Here's the link if you cannot stay away.)

I think this thing happens to many parents when they start looking for modeling agencies for their children.  Parents put agents up on pillars…like they are gods and goddesses to be pleased and may we bow down and offer up our child to you?  Please make my kid a model?  I’m guessing that if you have a kid in this business you have felt that way at least once.  Maybe it was for 30 seconds, but I’m guessing you felt it at least once.  It’s kind of like applying to schools or jobs – and I’ve said that before.  “I want YOU to want ME!”  You prepare for the big meeting…you make sure your child is clean and groomed to perfection.  But…guess what.  To the agent?  You’re the 2:30 appointment.  And you may be meeting with just one or maybe even five agents…and they see hundreds of you.  It’s like I’ve told students when they ask me a question about a point they lost on a homework three weeks ago – I graded a hundred and twenty of those; you looked at one.  Perspective.  Let’s create a healthy understanding of the role we play in each other’s lives and go from there.  The agent may or may not want to represent your kid.  Let me say that again.  The agent may or may not want to REPRESENT your kid.  Represent.  REPRESENT.  Represent in business negotiations.  Doing all the legwork to get your kid to castings and bookings and bookkeeping and maintaining professionalism and looking at photos and talking to casting directors and changing schedules and and and…doing business.

You want your agent to be a business person.  You will notice that I never mention my daughter’s agent and I never speak of specific agencies here.  That’s because all of the reputable agencies are great in different ways for different parents.  If my agency blew off the face of the earth tomorrow I would be honored to work with whichever of the major players that would offer my daughter representation.  The reason they are major players is that they have earned their street cred.  Two agencies I can think of are new (meaning less than three or so years, so that gives them away, sorry ladies) but they have POUNDED THE PAVEMENT to get full swing into the NYC market.  And how did they do it?  And the ones who have been around for longer?  They worked hard.  They maintained professionalism.  They stayed quiet when they needed to be quiet and they advocated hard and worked those phones when they needed to.  They found the right combination of real trust in casting directors and parents and the owners of their agencies (or maybe they ARE the owners of their agencies) and got it done.  Once the wheels got turning, they kept their noses to the grindstone and didn’t get off course.  They focused on the business and not the bullshit.  My assumption?  If you’re dealing with bullshit, you’re not dealing with casting directors, and that means you’re not booking my kid.  And that’s why I was very careful to give agents a fair shot when I answered what agents want from parents: parents need to not cause extraneous bullshit for agents.  Some agents love when the kids pop in to say hello.  Some don’t.  Some do if you call first.  Some agents work out of their homes in their PJs at 3:00 am.  Respect the life.  But if an agent is out there acting all crazy?  Who – CD, accounting department, photographer – wants to deal with him or her?  Maybe he or she can convince the parents (especially if the agent pays Google to sponsor the agency when parents search) but eventually…the business reflects the agent.

Feedback?  Thoughts?  Add a comment here, on my Facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or send me an email at thebizzymama@gmail.com …I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.  Say hello!

Shooting with Mary Kate Gutierrez

A couple weeks ago I decided that I needed a quick new headshot of my daughter because she is growing out her bangs and everything I have ready to use is very bang-o-centric.  My daughter’s print agency really only uses her tearsheets for submissions, so I send those along whenever I see them, but for on-camera, a recent headshot reflecting the kiddo’s current look is a must-have.  Casting directors are not too keen on getting kids who look nothing like their headshots!

I favor very natural photos, and I try to keep my eye out for emerging photographers or local photographers who may be offering a one-look mini-shoot at a reasonable price.  I’m pretty budget-conscious now (more on that in the future) but also want someone who knows the market so I get the look I need (in NYC, the more natural the better) so I asked around and found a great photographer who was available to meet up – even better – in two days.

Mary Kate Gutierrez has been building her photography portfolio over the past year in New York and Southern Connecticut.  A 2014 graduate of UCONN, she works full-time in advertising but pursues her love of photographing children as much as possible outside of work hours.  She hopes to parley that into a career pulling together the big picture of marketing kids’ fashion campaigns.  I’ve seen her work shooting for emerging designers as well as portfolio shoots for kids and some editorial work.  She credits her ability to work will with kids, parents and designers on her extensive sports background – she played competitive soccer, basketball AND lacrosse.  I would describe her style as clean, natural and fun.  She loves the opportunity to capture children as they really are – letting their personalities shine. 

With a rousing endorsement by a friend, I contacted Mary Kate on a Friday.  She had also been following me on social media, so when I messaged her we felt like old buddies – she’s very friendly and outgoing.  She suggested meeting up on Sunday morning, which was perfect, since she already had a shoot scheduled at Yale and I would be on my way to my dad’s for a family gathering nearby.  (I kind of live in the boondocks of northwestern CT, so New Haven is actually relatively handy for me in relation to NYC or NJ).  I asked for some wardrobe suggestions, and I grabbed a few dresses and some simple sandals and we were on our way.

When we met on our arranged street-corner, Mary Kate was ready to go.  It was a reeeeealllllly hot that day, but she showed up looking like quite the cool and casual photographer – cute clothes with a stylish vest and her hair pulled back.  She put my daughter at ease immediately (not that my daughter is uptight or anxious, but a fast connection is a great thing for a quick photoshoot).  We picked a dress, chatted a bit, and within a few minutes they were off and running, stopping here and there in the nooks and crannies of the collegiate neighborhood.

Mary Kate sent me all of the photos that night.  I loved the proofs and have settled on one to use as a headshot.  Most of all, I really enjoyed meeting her – she talks about her close-knit family (three brothers and a sister; all younger) and the high expectations her parents have for their academic achievement (each child pays his or her way through school as well).  Honestly, I left the shoot wanting to go have Sunday dinner at Mary Kate’s family’s house!

If you’re looking for some fresh photos with a really sweet and outgoing photographer, consider Mary Kate.  Full disclosure, I paid her full asking price and I did not receive any “favors” for the coverage in the blog here – this was totally my idea after the fact because I had such a great time with her and I wanted to spread the word.  She is “emerging” and not a full-time photographer, so her prices are quite reasonable yet she is no less professional than anyone I’ve worked with.  You’ll see a lot more of her work in the future – I’m sure!  You can follow her on Instagram at @marykategutierrez on facebook at MKG Photography or on the web at mkgphotog.com. 

I've included a few shots below...the first is the one I'm using for her on-camera headshot now; the second is the "serious face" she was sporting that morning; and the third is just a fun shot that I love.

Feedback?  Thoughts?  Add a comment here, on my Facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or send me an email at thebizzymama@gmail.com …I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.  Don’t forget to share the love by clicking RIGHT HERE…I want to become a top Mommy Blogger!

Kids in the Candy Store; Moms in the Shoe Store...

Picture yourself walking into Nordstrom.  You see the Tory Burch shoe selection.  You pick up a few of the shoes, stroke them lovingly, and you decide to try a couple of pairs on.  You’re thinking, just one pair…I’ll splurge a little bit…I’ve been so good about not spending too much money…maybe the gold flats…or the wedge sandals…or maybe the blue ones!  You try them on, all look fabulous (because this is a hypothetical situation and you don’t have barges attached to your ankles) and you choose the pair you’re going to buy.  The shoe salesman completes your sale and you are out the door, silver bag in hand, ready to conquer the world in your new shoes.

You only got one pair.  But you tried on three and they were all great…right?  You chose the blue ones.  On a different day, you might have gotten the sandals.  At that moment, though, the blue ones were your favorite.  My question is, and here’s where I’m going with this, is: did you reject the other ones?

Your answers might vary, but I was reminded about the subject of rejection in child modeling and acting the other day by a mom (shout out!) who was considering getting her son into the business (in addition to her daughter) but she was concerned that her son might be too aware of the rejection, which her younger daughter didn’t even notice yet.

I’ve tackled the subject of rejection in discussions with seasoned model moms and skeptical bystanders alike.  It’s part of the business.  A huge part of the business.  And unless you are one of the half dozen or so child models I can count off the top of my head who book constantly, you’re going to face rejection ALL.  THE.  TIME.  Most of it?  You won’t even know about it because your agent submitted you for something and you didn’t get requested.  Does this kind of rejection hurt kids?  The older ones obviously know they went to a go-see and didn’t book – how does that feel?  Even for the younger ones, the parents are aware of the rejection, and sometimes the parents take it very personally.  Is it okay to face that rejection?  I’m offering up my answer: a resounding, YES, it’s ok and probably actually good for kids!

If you’re not in the business (or even if you are) think for a moment about everything your child does (outside of modeling).  Swimming, ballet, baseball, choir, fencing, whatever.  How many times has your child been rejected?  Chances are, if you have a kiddo under age 10 or so, the answer is probably…not many times.  Little kids tend not to face any rejection.  End of the year class ceremonies give awards to every child (Brightest smile!  Most colorful wardrobe!) and not just the top spellers and the best readers.  EVERY snowman collage gets hung up in the classroom, not just the ones most pleasing to the eye (and, er, accurate…what was that one kid thinking?!?).  We’ve created this cushy, fuzzy, warm, and safety-padded world for our kids in which they never face any real rejection unless they engage in competitive activities…and even then…let’s just say my son puts the BEN in BENch, and he’s fifteen.

 So I explained this all to a group of my friends, and many seemed to agree.  A little rejection is good sometimes.  Learning how to handle it gracefully can be an amazing feat on the way to building good character…and a way to gain some perspective on how the real world works.  Explaining it to kids can also be challenging, because we still need to sugar-coat (foreshadowing!) it so kids can handle it.  So I came up with this analogy that’s more suited to kids than my Tory Burch shoe analogy above.

Imagine going into a big candy store.  It has EVERYTHING sweet and delicious a kid might want.  And everything looks soooo good…maybe Bit O’ Honey is not your thing, but gummy sharks?  Heck yeah!  And your mom tells you that you can pick out three things.  How do you ever pick just three from the whole entire store?  You just do.  Does it mean you rejected all the other candy in the store?  Technically, sure.  But does it feel like rejection?  Not really – you just picked the three things that seemed really good at that moment.  If you go back next week, you may pick three different things.  Or one or two the same and something else different.  (The gummy sharks tasted stale.)  Or maybe this week you can only get one.  Next week you can get four!  All the candy is good…there are different flavors and some are just variations on the same thing (red Swedish fish, cherry gum drops, and red gummy worms) but you still have to narrow it down.  And sometimes there is a candy that’s there all the time but no one really chooses except on rare occasions (wax lips?)…but you know it’s there should you ever desire it.

Kids can probably understand that.  They make choices all the time – ONE lollipop at the bank, ONE beanie beast at the toy store – they can see that sometimes options need to be narrowed and maybe you can make the connection to modeling and acting for them.  Remind them of all the other cool things they do.  Teach yourself to get past the go-sees and holds that don’t result in bookings (if they see you upset, they’ll learn to feel that way, too).  As they say, “On to the next!”

Feedback?  Thoughts?  Add a comment here, on my Facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or send me an email at thebizzymama@gmail.com …I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.  Don’t forget to share the love by clicking here…I want to become a top Mommy Blogger!