NYT writes about "summer kids" and I respond.

Ahhhh…summer kids.  Whatta topic!  The New York Times published a story yesterday about summer kids in the New York City modeling market and I can’t resist responding!  First of all, here’s the link to the story – it may be helpful to read it before you read my response:  Link here.

It’s no secret that New York is a prime center for child print modeling.  Name a brand…any children’s brand or store/catalog that sells children’s clothes…and chances are good that they shoot in New York.  And, historically, NYC has been *the* location to shoot over the summer: decent weather, great studios and locations, and tons of beautiful kids.

It’s also no secret that year ‘rounders – the NYC models and their parents – have probably rolled their eyes at least once and said, “Ugh…a summer kid booked that job.”

The truth is, the NYT article kid of rubbed me the wrong way.  Not because I thought it would recruit even more summer kids, but because I thought it kind of both skewed the realities of the industry and skewed the realities of the summer kid experience.  Hopefully, I can clear up some of that.

First of all, the NYT did a good job with their sources.  FFT/FunnyFace Today and Charlie Winfield are highly respected in the business.  Everyone I know who has worked with Charlie says he’s a great agent and, above all, a great person. My daughter started freelancing with FFT for her first foray into the business and, while we didn’t work directly with Charlie, the agency and their reputation were nothing but professional.  More notably, they have been around a LONG time, and they know the business inside and out.  So, score one for the NYT on choosing an agency to profile.

Now I’m going to say score ZERO for the NYT’s choice of parents to profile.  They chose summer kids and parents to write about because they wanted to show the extreme of people throwing thousands of dollars at…potentially…no return.  Notice how they did not profile any returning summer kids nor did they profile kids who are regular bookers in their home markets (such as Florida).  They seemed to profile these people as chasing some fruitless dream…spending thousands of dollars they probably didn’t have (notice they didn’t profile a child whose parents are investment bankers, for example) on some dream of MAYBE making $20,000.  More on this in a minute.

I feel the article portrayed both child modeling and “summer kids” in ways that didn’t give an accurate picture…and in ways that were pretty elitist (typical for the NYT; full disclosure: I read it daily and respect its historical value as a national newspaper of record, BUT I believe most of its feature stories err on the side of the white shoe) and pretty “surface” in their overview of the industry.

Many parents I know wonder why agencies even take summer kids – why wouldn’t they show more loyalty to their full-time talent?  There are a few reasons why an agency may want to have some new faces on hand for 6-8 weeks in the summer.  Traditionally, the summer has been THE busiest time in NYC.  Now, I would say, from my experience, the busier end of the summer is June/July.  Guess what: NYC schools, and schools within a two-hour radius (considered the “local” distance to NYC) run through almost the end of June.  And what happens during June?  Field trips, sports banquets, concerts, playoffs, tournaments…all reasons why local talent “book out” (let their agents know they are not able to work).  Southern and Midwestern schools tend to get out mid-May…and if they want to come work in New York, that’s a busy time for photoshoots…and a time when many NYC kids are not available…it makes perfect sense that an agency may want some new faces to fill their rosters during those busy times.  Couple that with the extra work in the summer, and you can see why agencies might be interested in taking on some extra kids during the summer.  On the flip side, there are many local kids who work primarily in the summer because of school and activity schedules.

Many local parents have been speculating that there isn’t as much work as there used to be in the summer, so having the extra kids in town may not be as necessary for agencies as it once was.  One of my friends (shout out!) keeps a spread sheet of each go-see/casting/audition and job her kids work, and she has the evidence that it’s not quite as busy in the summer as it once was several years ago…yet others say that there is the same amount of work per year, but it’s spread out throughout the year rather than being summer-heavy.  There are new brands popping up all the time, and this year I can think of a couple of west-coast companies that shot in NYC for the first time back in the spring.  So, overall, it seems like coming just for the summer may no longer be as advantageous to hit the super-busy time.

Back to where I take MAJOR issue with the NYT article.  It focused on a handful of families that appeared – according to their description – to not necessarily be in the best financial position to make such a big gamble.  Joey Hunter’s estimation that a busy child model can POTENTIALLY (emphasis mine) make $20,000 a year is true – I know a top booker can make $50,000-$60,000 (and by top booker, I mean TOP booker who works constantly) but it’s also possible that a regular booker (2-3 times a month) could easily make under $10,000.  That’s all based on 52 weeks.  If a family is here for 7 weeks…well, the math shows the reality…there is almost no opportunity for a financial windfall.  Child models get paid SIGNIFICANTLY less than adult models…and remember, most adult models don’t make much either.  (Here is a past post I wrote about what child models earn.)

I see that these families have shelled out $7,000-$15,000 on their kids’ modeling and that really makes me sad and kind of angry.  I’m being judgmental here – sorry – but is that really the kind of money a family of modest means can shell out on something with a very small chance of recouping that amount?  I (and other advocates in the industry) feel very strongly that this is a profession in which children do not need to “spend money to make money.”  Are there legitimate expenses?  Sure!  Commuting expenses, meals on the road, headshots for acting…these can all add up.  Even local kids have these expenses…but for the most part, the kids are working and can cover the bulk of them out of their earnings.  But the expenses being numbers being in the thousands?  That’s just not an accurate picture of what it takes to “make it” as a child model.  (And what does it mean, exactly, to “make it” anyway?)  They quoted a child saying she was hopeful about booking a Toys R Us shoot…and you know what that pays?  $100.  Maybe $200 if things are going slowly on set.  After commission: $80 (or $160). 

And this is a HUGE reality: rent in NYC is OVER THE TOP expensive…and add in the meals (food is more expensive too)…let’s just say that’s a GIANT expense in addition to what these families have already shelled out.

I do know some families who have had VERY successful summers.  When the work was plentiful, and the kids were booking 2-3 times a WEEK, and working in TV as well as print, a good summer could bring in $10,000-$20,000.  Those kids also booked national commercials, which paid very well…but I would also say it’s somewhat unusual to be here for 7 or 8 weeks and get “out there” for many auditions.  Their chances for success increased over time because they built relationships with agents and came for a few summers, so they were probably able to get out and be seen right away when they arrived.  These kids who had these successful summers would be the exception and not the rule.

I also know many families for whom the expenses are reasonable within their finances.  I guess that suggests that coming to NYC for several weeks is an option for the wealthy, but -- I’m being judgy again – I’m kind of put off by the use of GoFundMe.  To be fair, the people contributing are probably fully aware of what they are paying for…but are they aware of the slim potential for a return on the whole investment?  Is it fair for the kids to have the pressure on them to book jobs and earn money so they can go back home and prove themselves?  Or is it going to be ok to go home empty handed?

If you noticed the ages of this children in the article, most were 11 (and I think one was 7 and one was 12).  Those ages are absolutely unrealistic representations of the "promise" of child modeling.  Obviously FFT would not have taken on kids who were unlikely to book, so their sizes matter more than their ages -- but child modeling ends, for the most part, at size 10.  There are a few jobs for size 12 (and I have seen boys go up to 14 on occasion), but it is highly unlikely that an 11-year-old would be building connections and a portfolio in this one summer that could give a jump start to working next year -- because the odds are great that they would be too big.  It's also worth noting that it is difficult to break into child acting at that point, as well, because many of the kids working at that age have been in the business for several years and simply have more experience and time working with their managers and agents.

My final criticism of the article is the title: “Kid Models (and Their Moms) Trade Summer Fun for City Auditions.”  That is total BS and shame on the Times for that.  Coming to NYC for the summer – or any amount of time – is an amazing experience.  Learning how to navigate city life – from the streets to the transportation – is something that can be a benefit to anyone.  If you can get around NYC and adjust to the pace, you can probably make it around any city in the world (language aside).  There are so many things to DO – and many can be free or low-cost.  Saying these families are only auditioning and having NO fun is just irresponsible journalism – probably designed to get the readers to shake their heads and tsk-tsk what these desperate mothers are doing to their children.  And really, castings and auditions simply do not take up every hour of every day.  You may have three in one day, work a few hours the next day, and have a few quiet days.  Even if I’m kind of down on the whole spending all that money for child modeling, these parents do deserve some props for taking the risk of leaving their comfort-zones to give their kids a NYC experience.  I’m two hours away from the city (but was educated and lived there) and one of the reasons why I like my daughter being in the industry is so she can experience and navigate the city.

So, yeah, expensive.  Probably not going to pay off much in modeling.  But the experience?  Pretty darn great.  And, hey, if you have the money, you can hit up Hamilton, right?  If not: you can’t beat Mister Softee and a good water playground.  (I know which one my daughter would prefer!)

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Did You Know...Protection for Earnings of Child Performers

According to New York State law, 15% of a child's earnings from performing (including print modeling) must be deposited into a trust account.  It can be very confusing navigating the requirements of the child performer laws!  You need to have a permit on hand to work, you need the school and the pediatrician to sign off on it...and provide all sorts of bank documents?  Whaaaaa?  Just take the pictures!

But seriously, this has all been designed to protect the earnings of child performers so that they will have access to some of that money when they become adults.  California has a much more specific structure of protecting children's earnings...probably because California is the epicenter of the film industry and there have been significant problems over time with parents, um, losing track of their children's earnings.  (The California blocked-trust account in named the Coogan account after a child actor, Jackie Coogan, whose parents lost the equivalent of several million dollars in today's money.)

This can be difficult to navigate, though, since you have to be able to imagine a child making anywhere between $100 (total) or millions of dollars over the course of the child's career.  The law requires 15% (gross) to be deposited into a trust account for the child, so how do you decide what kind of account to get?  Do you do just the 15% or more?  How can the money be used?  It's a LOT!  And if you're at all like me, when the subject of money and banking come up...well, my eyes just glaze over and I can't even deal with all the options.  Sad example: my 401(k) money from my first job that I left in 2003 is exactly in the same configuration of whatever sad fund allocations as the day I left it.  I get the statement every three months and put it in a file.  I would not even begin to know how to do anything with it -- and I sure as heck don't want to pay someone to figure it out for me.  I REALLY AM THAT IGNORANT.

However...when it comes to my kid's account and career, I wanted to figure out exactly what the law requires.  What I cannot help you with are the things that make me go apoplectic, like, what banks have the best interest rates?  How should I invest for college?  No, no, no...I can just tell you about the basic types of trust accounts and how they need to be matched up with the type of work your child will do.  You get to choose your bank based on convenience and what minimum balance requirements are and interest rates or whatever...I will, however, mention which one I understand to be the most convenient.

Most states offer UTMA or UGMA accounts as a way to put money aside for youth until they reach the age of majority (18 or older, depending on your state and if you want lawyers to draw stuff up). Those accounts are structured so that a kid can inherit money, receive a gift of money -- or earn money in this case -- and claim ownership to it when they are an adult. With UTMA and UGMA accounts, there are guardians -- an adult on the account with the child who is specified as a GUARDIAN but not the owner of the account. That means I do not need to count that money as an asset of MINE, but I can have say over what happens to it while my child is under 18. (See how that is different from a joint account?)  Also note: that money is, in fact, an asset of the child and the child will need to claim such asset for things like college financial aid forms.

Now here is what the big difference is: with UTMA and UGMA, there are some semi-specific guidelines why a guardian could withdraw money in the best interest of a child. Basically, you can use money from that account to provide things beyond the necessities. YOU -- not your child -- are obligated to provide food, shelter, clothing, and basic necessities like access to school. If your child has money in those trust accounts, you could use it to provide acting lessons or ballet summer intensive or something like that...AND, the expenses related to the acting/modeling CAN come out of those accounts.  If you use the money for lavish family trips to Monaco, that doesn't really fit the definition of something in the interest of the child.  Maybe.  Who knows.  Talk to your accountant.

NYS accepts those types of accounts -- UTMA and UGMA -- as the "trust accounts" necessary for deposit of the 15% of the child's earnings.

NOW: there is the Coogan account which is the required trust account for child performers in California (and a few other states, such as Louisiana).

The Coogan accounts are 100% blocked trusts, meaning NO ONE can withdraw money from them until they become the property of the adult child. Coogan accounts can be hard to open if you are outside of California, but that's only because banking laws are done on a state basis and banks are not obligated to open any old account from any old location. There are financial institutions geared just toward performers (such as the Actor's Federal Credit Union and the SAG Credit Union) that can help you open a Coogan account from basically anywhere in the country. If you work AT ALL in CA or anywhere in the world that uses a CA production/payroll team, your child MUST HAVE A COOGAN. Any account that is a 100% blocked trust counts as a Coogan -- and because they are not common, for anyone other than child performers, they tend to be called Coogan accounts.

Since NYS also accepts Coogans as a form of "trust account" some parents may want to start with a Coogan since it can be used anywhere. However, that may not be the best option if you foresee wanting to use some of the monies deposited toward career-related expenses.  That is where you need to think seriously if you will stick with the 15% deposit required by law or deposit more.  And you can change your mind on this -- the 15% is written in stone, but the rest is up to your discretion.  Just remember that if you use the Coogan, you cannot later go in and withdraw money for, say, SAG joining fees.  Or headshots.  Period.

I have gotten into debates with parents about whether or not you need to be present IN CALIFORNIA to open a Coogan. NO -- you just need to open it from a bank that offers it (a 100% blocked trust) and will allow you to open it. Some banks make it realllly hard -- like, there's a Bank of America on every corner in the U.S., but to open a Coogan with them from CT is like a crazy highly orchestrated bicoastal procedure. (Plus I basically think they kind of stink based on them losing stuff when they bought and sold my traditional, highly desirable mortgage.)  Some banks in CA make you bring in a contract to prove that you are actually going to be paid as a child performer before you can open one. Those are the policies of the BANKS THEMSELVES and not the law regarding the type of account.  I'm guessing that Coogans in general are not advantageous to banks, because they don't tend to roll out the red carpets and give out toasters to get you to come in and open one.

Chances are, if you go into a bank that does not deal expensively with child performers, you can ask for a Coogan and they will have never heard of it and convince you that you must be talking about a UTMA. But if you are told you need a Coogan for a California job, you NEED a Coogan and get one from AFCU (I have heard this is super easy and can be done over the phone and fax from ANYWHERE in the country -- we do not have a Coogan yet but that is where I would open one), SAG CU, some bicoastal bank arrangement, or in person somewhere in CA.

And when I say you NEED a Coogan -- you will need proof of that account before you take a step on set.  I know people who have traveled to CA for a gig and needed to hire a car to take them from a studio to a bank before they could start working.  Bear this in mind if you are planning a trip for pilot season...and I would say there are more and more print gigs hiring in NYC and then going on location these days.

Hopefully, that helps...

Feel free to ask questions here (remember, I just know about the types of accounts -- not the nitty gritty about who has the best interest rates and stuff...), email me at theBizzyMama@gmail.com, check out my Instagram @theBizzyMama or like my Facebook page so you can see when I post on the blog.

This is a direct copy and paste from the NYS Child Performer Permit FAQ page:

Q: Do I need to set up a Child Performer Trust Account in New York State?
 A:  A trust account may be set up anywhere, as long as:

• It is set up as required by New York State Law
• The employer can complete the required transactions
• It meets the standards required by a New York State Uniform Transfer to Minors Act Trust Account (UTMA) or a New York State Uniform Gift to Minors Act Trust (UGMA) account or is a blocked “California Coogan” type account.

Dear Bizzy Mama: Is this all worth it? (And, what information should I expect in a go-see request?)

Ahhhh, happy summer!  I am on my deck with a glass of rose and a string of red solo-sup lights hanging from my umbrella.  All is right in the world -- NO, not the WORLD -- but at least here at home right now.

I thought I would share a question I got from a reader.  It's a great question, and actually raises some good points I think you should all know about the business.  AND, added bonus, it's something industry moms ask and talk about all the time!

I'm going to edit the original question a bit, but I will still keep it in italics so you know which part was the question and which was the response.


Dear BizzyMama,
We were booked mid-day today for a 9am shoot tomorrow in Brooklyn (less than the 24 hour notice I thought our agent guaranteed). Logistically I would need to leave my house at 6:45am to ensure we made it there on time factoring in an extra hour for rush hour. The rate was also only $50/hour, so none of this made it worth it to me and I told my agent we couldn't make it and she got extremely upset. How does one avoid these situations going forward? We went to the casting last week in Manhattan and all of the work we have done so far has been at a minimum $100/hour which makes parking and tolls less painful. Basically I would be losing money spending 6hours to make $80 (2 hour limit at this age and agency fee).  Is this even worth it?
What a great question!

When I responded, I tackled a couple of points in particular.

I'll start with the "24-hour notice."  That's not a thing. Your agent should not have promised that.  Your agent could have said, "We will give you as much notice as possible."  My daughter has worked for MANY clients who send out their bookings late in the day for the next morning.  Usually there is a hold, so it's not a total surprise, but if you go to a casting and know the shoot dates...well, keep reading.

We are fortunate to have an extremely business-oriented, Type A, ultra-clear and concise agent.  That is exactly the style of agent I want -- but remember, agents are all about the FIT.  Just like some of us like iPhones and some of us like Androids, agents at reputable agencies all get the job done and do what they do -- for the most part -- well.  Here's where I questioned this mom first: did your agent tell you the dates, rate and shoot location BEFORE the casting?

Agents, I know you read this...and I love you all and you know I have tons of respect for the work you do.  But YOU know this information when you send parents on castings, and parents deserve to know this information as well.

When you get a request for a casting (and remember, "request" is a term I use loosely -- if your agent sends you the casting, it's a request whether 1000 kids or 4 kids are going -- never question that; it doesn't matter)...when you get a request for a casting, you should know the shoot dates, the location of the shoot, and the rate.  This is what your agent should be telling you.  (Agents who don't: if you have a compelling reason to withhold this information, please email me and explain...I will be happy to clarify.)  If an agent does NOT know that information, they should tell you they do not know the information.  For example: Client X, shoot dates: late summer (exact dates unknown), location: shoots in NYC and upstate NY, rate: 125/hr.

Parents: generally speaking, by signing on to be part of this business, you have agreed to take jobs within the tri-state area at the going rates the agents negotiate.  IF a casting is for a location-shoot and for some reason you are unable to make a location shoot, you should let your agent know.  Your agent should make all of this clear to you when you join their agency.  The going rate in the NYC market is $100+/hr with a 2-hour minimum with the exception of a couple of clients.  Your agent can let you know what the exceptions are.  Expect that there are a few exceptions and be ready to take them when they come.  A common exception is that some companies do not offer a 2-hour minimum when school is not in session or for children younger than school-age. Another common exception is editorial work; this is the type of work that appears in magazines like the ones we all get when our kiddos are little or see in the OB/GYN's office.  Those are often as little as $50/hr BUT they are really cool jobs, so we take them as just being cool.  Some agencies even have their talent do an occasional editorial shoot for NO PAY if the agent expects great photos that can be useful for marketing your child down the road.  You have signed on to trust this reputable agent -- trust your agent.

If you've been reading for a long time or are new to my blog, remember or read the post I wrote about the money.  For child models, it's not about the money.  Very few kids make tons of money as child models.  VERY FEW.  The bigger $$$ is to be found in commercials, TV and film...which a lot of us would love for our kids to hit big, but we need to be realistic.  Depending on your expenses, child modeling can be a nice bonus in the bank for your kiddo OR...it can actually be...A LOSS.

A $200 or $250 job -- which is what most of us could reasonably expect to make --  might result from a casting/go-see a week or so before.  So...we didn't make any money on the go-see and paid $10 (minimum) for tolls, maybe $30 for parking, another $10 or so for bribery snacks and coffee plus tip, and who knows how much for gas.  (I just got a new car -- "new" car -- that takes the super ultra premium gas: WHAT WAS I THINKING?)  So there's $50 assuming gas was free.  NOW, you book!  WOOT!  You pay that much again, and the commission to the agency AND don't forget you need to put 15% of the GROSS earning into that trust account...  Let me assume $20 for gas (that's not accounting for any wear and tear on the car)...ok, so that's $70 per trip which is $140 now for 2 trips...let's say the job paid $125/hr for 2 hours...that's $250, subtract $50 for commission, now $37.50 for the trust account...now your kid made $22.50.  And little more that they can have when they turn 18. But you are also out the miles on your tires, engine, and oil change.

I do know many parents out there who say things like, "All the money goes into my child's account...I don't take any for expenses...it's all theirs..." and that's great.  I, personally, am not wealthy enough to NOT recoup some of my expenses.  Do I eat a fair chunk?  Sure.  Do I need to get reimbursed for some as well?  Definitely.  Full disclosure: we also live farther away than average, so it's pretty expensive for us to go back and forth.  Even when we train, we have to drive half-way and train half-way from the closest station.

So where was I?  Back to the original question.  This mama who wrote to me wondered if the job wasn't worth it.  Fair question?  YES.  Was it financially worth it?  NO.

But remember, why do we do this in the first place?  1) We all want our kids to be in a Baby Gap.  Don't lie; that's why you started.  2)  It's a fun industry.  I meet and have become friends with some awesome people and my child has the opportunity to become friends and work with kids from far more diverse/different backgrounds than are present in our little white-bread Northwestern CT town.  3)  We love seeing pictures of our kids in stores and catalogs.  The grandparents are pretty cool with pictures as well. 4) Our kids often love the time to express themselves, play with other kids and experience things in the City they wouldn't at home...AND 5) they also learn to deal with direction, waiting, patience, self-entertainment, and the rejection that can come with the business when they are old enough to understand.

But ALSO remember this:

This is a business.  This may be fun for some of us, but for our agents, this is their livelihood.  When we sign on, we are expected to follow by the general rules of the business and take the great jobs with the lame jobs...just like in any business, there are ups and downs.  Positives and negatives.  In the end, if it's not right for you and your finances/schedule/personality, it's fine to bow out professionally and gracefully.

In the meantime, have a blast!

Feel free to "like" my Facebook page (The Bizzy Mama) where I announce new blog posts and post other industry info and follow my Instagram @theBizzyMama to see my random life photos.  I'm always interested in your feedback!


  

Are we worrying about the wrong things?

I usually write exclusively for parents interested the business of child performing.  This post will start that way – the inspiration for this – but it’s quickly going to go into some passionate feelings I have for all parents.  So please read, consider, and share if you think this can be helpful (and I’m really hoping it can).  It’s taken me a long time to write this; school, family, auditions, all pile up…and, frankly, it’s a tough subject and I wanted to provide you with as much accurate information as possible.

Recently, several model moms discovered that there were photos of their children (or children we know) along with many other kiddos on some “chan” sites.  Now, I will admit that I took a look at a link for about two seconds and the children I saw were fully-clothed and pretty innocent-looking.  Some children we did not recognize were young girls (as little as one in a full-on carseat) that had a lot of makeup on and done-up hair.  (Remember I am a real makeup prude for kids -- especially mine -- but I don’t want to get all judgy – time and a place for everything and it’s hard enough to be a mom without other judgy moms).  These particular sites are called “chan” sites (I believe) and are like whac-a-mole sites…impossible to eliminate because they come as fast as they go and skirt legal vs illegal activity and are based out of the country and travel through all sorts of servers to protect the anonymity of the origins.  Ok, creeped out much? (I just want to add that I visited a site for only two seconds because I quickly realized I wanted NOTHING even connected to the stuff that could end up on my computer or the viruses or the whatever related to the garbage.)

Moms I interact with FREAKED OUT.  You probably would too.  I told my wife and she FREAKED OUT (although no one seemed to see my daughter anywhere). 

Guess who didn’t freak out.

Me.

You see, my kid is out there.  You can go on Macy’s, Belk’s, Target, Hanna, J. Crew (etc., etc.) and see child models.  Heck, many of us put photos of our kids on Facebook and Instagram all the time (I do).  My kid is fully-clothed, looks age-appropriate, and just happens to be a seven-year-old girl.  Guess what?  If some creeper is going to get all worked up over my kid…it could just as easily happen to any kid, model or not…whatever.  I HATE that it could happen; it SICKENS me; and it’s just plain WRONG – don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want to argue THOSE points.  But what am I going to do?  Hide my kid behind a veil or keep her inside her life?  We let our schools post photos of our kids planting trees and stuff.  Perverts who like photos of kids planting trees?  Probably exist.

However, the ODDS of your child and mine ending up on internet creeper sites are so minimal that as EFFED UP as it may be, you just cannot worry about it.  If you post scantily-clad, sexy-pose photos of your kid, maybe worry about it more.

Now here’s where I’m going to get really passionate.  Look back at my title: Are we worrying about the wrong thing?

If you’re worried about where your kid shows up on the internet, YES, you are worrying about the wrong thing.

Now this part is for ALL parents – not just those of kids in the public eye.

Mic check.  Testing…1, 2, 3…

You know what we really need to worry about?  Our children being sexually abused.  You know why?  Because this actually DOES happen to many kids.  The statistics are staggering.  I’m passionate about this because I cannot even count the number of family members, friends, and students I have worked with over my twenty years in the classroom who have been sexually abused.  I’m not even going to divulge the range of people who are so close to me who have endured that vile atrocity because it’s their story to tell – but trust me; it’s many.

Let me throw some numbers at you.

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime, ONE in FIVE girls and ONE in TWENTY boys are victims of child sexual abuse before they reach adulthood.  This is ALL kids and these are only statistics based on actual reported acts in the United States.  The statistics align with adults’ recollections of their experience with abuse, although adult males tend to report that they experienced child sexual abuse in slightly higher numbers than actually recorded in crime databases.  Overall, this translates into slightly less than 10% OF ALL AMERICAN CHILDREN experiencing child sexual abuse.  Even worse: only about 30% of sexual assault cases are reported to authorities!  (I want you to know that my I have done my well-trained due diligence to verify that the websites I used for this present reliable, well-researched statistics, so you can trust my sources.)

Now here’s the one that should make you stop dead in your tracks.

90% of the victims of child sexual abuse are victimized by someone they KNOW.  60% are known to the offender but are NOT family and the remaining 30% are family members.  It kind of turns out that “stranger danger” is BS.

Children who experience abuse by someone they know are far more likely to experience significant problems with trust, feelings of worthlessness, and are very likely to have suicidal ideation.  These internalized feelings may lead to significant problems forming meaningful relationships and partnerships as children become adults…and there is evidence that children who suffered prolonged abuse from family members are far more likely to experience so-called acquaintance rape (political statement: rape is rape whether you know someone or not, so we’ll just say “raped by someone they know”).

An extensive report authored in 2010 by former FBI Investigator Kenneth Lanning (sponsored by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children along with the Department of Justice) offered this important information:

“Acquaintance molesters are still, however, one of the most challenging manifestations of sexual victimization of children for society and professionals to face. People seem more willing to accept a sinister, unknown individual or ‘stranger’ from a different location or father/stepfather from a different socioeconomic background as a child molester than a clergy member, next-door neighbor, law-enforcement officer, pediatrician, teacher, coach, or volunteer. Acquaintance molesters often gain access to children through youth-serving organizations. The acquaintance molester, by definition, is one of us. He is not simply an anonymous, external threat.”  (Emphasis mine.)

One of the most important things you should learn about, as a parent, is the process of “grooming” – how a potential perpetrator of child sexual abuse gains trust in YOU as well as your child to create a situation in which that person can victimize a child.  One thing very true of child performers is that they are exposed to close contact with adults who could potentially create “grooming” situations hospitable to abuse – but honestly, it can happen in church, on a sports team, at karate, or at Thanksgiving dinner.

I could go on forever with facts and statistics…and I will provide you with the links to all the sites I used for my research, including helpful information to learn about child sexual abuse, how to talk to your children, signs and symptoms and even the sex offender registries (handy to check when your children are starting new activities, etc., but remember these crimes are VERY UNDER-REPORTED so the offenders may never have encountered the justice system in any form).  And don’t even get me started on the plea bargains offenders can take to avoid trial that make their crimes seem minimal “on the record.”  I served on a jury in which a man charged with forcing a young boy to perform and receive oral sex was pled down to “sexual contact with a minor” – a fourth degree felony with a relatively short sentence – from First Degree Sexual Assault (which is the legal charge for RAPE in CT)…and a man my family knows well who was caught file-sharing as well as possessing a lot of child pornography on his computer who pled that down to something like one obscene photo or something.  (The justice system in this country is effed up, but that’s like another entire blog I could write.)

So please.  Worry about the right things with your children.  You CANNOT be too careful about this.  

Do not let your child spend unsupervised time without you or a very, very, very trustworthy person (and remember the whole “grooming” thing?  They make themselves seem very, very, very trustworthy!).  Re-think sleepovers – even with family members.  Host them at your house or discourage them entirely.  I’m sorry – I know that is really lame and maybe over-cautious parenting, but my child is much less likely to suffer from the tears of reacting to mean old mom than being abused by a known person.  Heck, I worry about this more than any likelihood my child will be harmed by a giant, red, three-month-old perfect Monsanto strawberry.  Or riding her bike in the road.

Talk about this stuff.  With your kids, your spouse, your friends.  If you think it hasn’t happened to people you know, you will become quite aware how widespread it is once you have those conversations.

And please share this.  Share these links.  Let your friends know what they need to worry about.  The bicycle helmet?  YES, of course.  Drowning in the pool?  YES.  But this one – child sexual abuse – is more likely than any of those.  We TALK about the helmets and the pools – so maybe that’s why they happen less.  We hear the horror stories of drowning and we make our kids have a healthy fear of the water and we teach them to swim.  But do we teach them to do as much as possible to protect them from sexual abuse?

We’d better start.  NOW.

Reactions?  Thoughts?  Post here, on my Facebook page (The Bizzy Mama) or via email: theBizzyMama@gmail.com

Resources:

National Center for Victims of Crime, Child Sexual Abuse Statistics:

http://www.victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics

The Lanning report on child molesters:

http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/publications/NC70.pdf

National Sex Offender Public Website (lots of publications/guides/etc.; not just sex offender registries)

https://www.nsopw.gov/en/Education/ResourcesMaterials

...and a direct link to their "Common Questions" page where you can read about many things including grooming:

https://www.nsopw.gov/en/Education/CommonQuestions#answer-05

Stop It Now!  Resources for preventing child sexual abuse:

http://www.stopitnow.org/

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children -- includes information on reporting child sexual abuse (among many other things):

http://www.missingkids.com/Home

What to consider if you're thinking about...switching agencies.

At some point in your child’s modeling career, you may start wondering: is it time to find a new agent?  Assuming you’ve been around for a while, booked some jobs, and now know the process, you may wonder if you have the right fit with an agent.  This is very common.  In fact, almost everyone I know has either had the thought cross their mind (even if only for a few seconds) OR has switched agencies.  If you’re at that point, what should you consider before you try to make a change?  And then, if you decide to make the move, how should you handle it?

Part 1: Should I switch?

If you’ve been a loyal BizzyMama reader, you know that I often suggest that you think of this stuff very much within the context of a business decision.  I live within a mile of two grocery stores, a Target, and a Walmart.  I go to Stop & Shop and Target while my wife goes to Price Chopper and Walmart (well, she’s into Target as well, but she WILL go to Walmart and I just don’t.)  Now follow me for a moment here: the Stop & Shop is more expensive, but it’s newer, better lit, and cleaner (in my opinion).  I’m also a creature of habit: I drove across town to go to Stop & Shops in my previous two homes, so imagine how happy I was when one opened near me!  I get their, as I call it, logic – how they have things laid out.  My wife “gets” Price Chopper logic, likes the prices, and can find her favorite yogurt there or whatever.  We make these choices based on different things: someone may like the cashiers better at one store or shop at any store based on the price of sale items.  I hate the parking lot at Walmart, but find Target’s to be pretty civilized.  My preferences are my preferences.  And: I’m talking about businesses here.  If I had a bad business experience, I would probably change my store.  And that’s what you should be thinking.

But: can you get FOOD at both grocery stores?  And cat litter at Target and Walmart?  YES.  You’re really going to have the same outcome at either place.  So when you are wondering if you should switch agencies, here is probably the ONE THING you should be very realistic about…and it’s probably the LAST reason why you should switch agencies…I’m going to put it first but number it really low on the list.  It’s really important to know this one and really important to say it should not be your #1 consideration…

#654:  "My child isn’t booking with this agency."

The solid agencies in each major market generally get the same opportunities.  They generally submit any kids who fit the breakdown, and they generally operate their submissions and bookings the same way.  This is why they are the solid agencies…they have built up their reputations with clients and casting directors by doing good business and doing right by their talent.  If they didn’t…they wouldn’t be able to survive in the business.  And, furthermore – perhaps most importantly – I really only know of two (that’s TWO) kids who booked more when they switched agencies (and I know a lot of kids and moms!).  There are really not many “grass is greener” stories to share with you about booking…so realize that different agencies don’t mean more jobs for 99% of kids.  (If I’m wrong about this, write to me so I can change my statistics!)

So what should you seriously consider?  In no specific order…

Do I work well with the people who contact me?

Does the agency’s system of sending out castings and bookings make sense to you or do they leave you with questions?  Are they professional and courteous, as you would expect, for example, when you call your pediatrician’s office?  Are they too formal or too casual for your style?  Do you know who is contacting you or is the staff really inconsistent?

How is the “fit”? 

This is very similar to the previous question, but maybe takes a little intuition to figure out.  How do they respond to me when I call/email?  Do I get the right “vibe”?  (This assumes you are calling/emailing/etc. a reasonable amount and not asking every other day why your kid didn’t get casting X or are holds out for casting Y?)  Sometimes people consider the warm fuzzies…or the organization…or the precision…it really depends on you.

What is our contact with the person “in charge”?

Some agencies are operated heavily by their owners, some have long-established agents who handle a division, and some have one or two junior staffers who handle most of the day-to-day booking.  You don’t necessarily need to have regular contact with some head honcho, but you should have a sense of who runs the show – which will give you a sense of HOW that person runs the show.

How is the money end of things?

Do checks come in a timely manner?  Does the amount paid equal what you were told the job would earn?  Is the accounting clear?  When you do your paperwork on April 14, does it all make sense?  If you do need to chase down a payment, is the agency helpful and do they keep you posted?  Do things get deducted from your checks that you don’t understand?

Do I like the fact that this agency earns 20% on my kid’s jobs? 

And we circle back to the whole business thing.  Does the agency want to book you?  YES, because that is how they make money.  If you think your kid is probably going out for the jobs you’re hearing about FOR YOUR KID’S EXACT BREAKDOWN, and you like the interactions you have with the agency, I would say: you really have no need to change.  If you are stuck on #654, wait.  Take a few (weeks’ worth of) deep breaths.  Don’t get hung up on names or who is on their roster or what works for that other family.  Focus on the business.  I’m not going to start going to Price Chopper just because my wife does.  If Stop & Shop starts getting shabby or I start getting the wrong change or rude customer service, then I would probably look around at other stores.  But I’ve got an embarrassingly large number of years of Stop & Shop loyalty under my belt, and I’m not going to give that up just because they were out of my raspberry swirl Greek yogurt the last two times it was on sale.

To sum things up with my “greener grass” analogy: most parents who have switched agencies and were happy with the switch did it because of the fit and the business model.  Most parents who switched because of the opportunities/bookings were not as happy with their move.

I’ll save the how-to for the next post…I’ve had a headache all day and I am going to chill out before my daughter gets home from school.

Thanks for reading!  As always, feel free to comment here, on my facebook page (The Bizzy Mama) or via email, at thebizzymama@gmail.com.  You can also check out some kid and pet pics on Instagram @theBizzyMama.  And, for some reason, I don’t tweet.

Did you know…? Workplace Safety for Child Performers (Second in a series.)

Recently, two moms contacted me with some pretty serious safety concerns about the sets where their children were called to work.  As parents, we’re used to being pretty vigilant with our kids – we tend not to take them to places we deem unsafe.  For example, I usually don't allow my kids to climb on the lumber in Home Depot…while climbing at the playground padded with 12” of superfoam is usually ok.  (Laugh about it – this is my sad attempt at humor while I am procrastinating doing my Stats homework.)  We all know how stressful it is to bring the kids to a relative’s house that is not child-proofed – it’s like playing full body goalie to keep your kid from tumbling off the floating staircase or forming a percussion band experiment on the Ming vases.  You get the point.  We also tend to think places where children are expected to be -- whether it’s a birthday party, school, or day care – are going to be safe.  So reason would have it that sets for children’s photo shoots would be safe as well, right?

Um, no.  Not really.

Here’s what New York State law says about the safety of child performers:

(a) The employer shall provide the child performer and his or her parent or guardian with information and instruction to protect the health or safety of the child performer, including any potential hazards associated with the specific activities that he or she will be expected to perform. In addition, a child performer must be given adequate instruction and rehearsal time for the specific activities he or she is to perform in order to protect his or her health or safety.

(b) A child performer and his or her designated responsible person shall be given orientation training to the workplace, other than the child performer’s own residence, that is adequate and appropriate to their ages.

Orientation training should include:

(1) Health and safety precautions for the venue or location;

(2) Traffic patterns backstage or on location;

(3) Safe waiting areas for child performers backstage or on location;

(4) Restricted areas;

(5) Location of rest areas/rooms, toilets, makeup areas, and other relevant rooms;

(6) Emergency procedures; and,

(7) Employer designated persons to inform of hazardous conditions and what actions to take.

Sounds pretty good, right?  If only.

I think I mentioned this in the previous “Did you know…?”  but I’ll say it again.  This business is not always child friendly, and it operates much more on the basis of “children dropped into an adult world” rather than adults creating a world for children.  One of the mothers who contacted me described the WAITING AREA of the shoot to be kind of like a Home Depot: ladders and wires and set construction stuff all over the place.  This was the waiting area.  She said that every mother there was playing the full-body goalie game, trying to keep little ones – we’re talking fifteen month olds here – safe and happy.  (A walking fifteen-month-old is a creature unto its own…if you have older kids, you’ve probably blocked that all out of your memory.  I remember childbirth better than I remember chasing my kids around at that age.)  Now, obviously this description of the waiting area falls far from the parameters of the law.

Another mom described the conditions on a location shoot to be nothing short of oppressive.  High heat, kids waiting around in winter clothes (in the summer), no cool place to wait while kids were visibly distressed and showing signs of the heat affecting their well-being, random production staff taking kids to different areas of the location without parents knowing, no private places to change children’s clothes for the shoot, and flights of stairs for parents and little ones to navigate endlessly because of the extreme disorganization on set.  A typical shoot in these conditions would have an air-conditioned motor home parked on set, with seating (not much room, but cool and safe enough for everyone to have good supervision over the children) and a private changing area, a place outdoors for the kids to play between shoots, and a way to keep either our own beverages or production-provided beverages at least a little cool for our kids. 

And here’s another one -- not recent, but an incident that is burned into my mind: a child FELL INTO A POND on a location shoot and a mom had to jump in a rescue the child.  What on earth were they thinking holding a shoot right near a pond when plenty of little kids were in the vicinity?

Now tell me this: would Gigi Hadid put up with this?  These shoots I described were for good brands and stores – with plenty of resources to make a couple of adjustments to keep the models more comfortable – but they did not take care to make sure the children were safe and at least slightly comfortable on set.  Of those provisions I provided from the law, how many glaring violations can you see?  Now, I paint these severe pictures as worst-case-scenarios.  Generally speaking, I have found sets to have some safety concerns such as wires and gear that could be unsafe for the kids, but generally I’ve experienced safe waiting areas and the kids have been well-supervised on set.  Most productions tend to show concern for the little ones’ well-being.  I personally don’t have any horror stories…yet.

So here’s the big question: what do you do when you’re on set and these things happen?

I’ll focus on print here.  Production companies (the people hired to set things up, organize the schedule, get the creative team’s vision into reality) are not child-care professionals.  They are not used to the safety concerns we only really realized once we had our own kids.  So it’s going to happen that you may encounter some degree of the inconveniences I mentioned.  First of all, advocate for your child.  There should be a “point person” on the set – and if you’re not sure who that is, ask someone who signs the vouchers.  The person who signs the vouchers is probably someone with some degree of control in the situation.  Express concern and ask specifically for what you need.  Some examples: “I’m concerned that there is not a private area for the kids to change.  Can you make a space?”  (They can…there is stuff they can move around or they can clear an area behind a clothing rack if nothing else.)  “I feel like there are a lot of unsafe things in the waiting area – can someone come and rearrange a few things so the kids aren’t so close to the wires?”  I feel like the calm, professional parent can get a lot done with this type of direct concern/ask for change type interaction.  It’s not confrontational and puts the staff into the position of looking like idiots if they say no.

Now, what if the staff is surly or unresponsive?  Or just so disorganized that they cannot stop for five minutes to accommodate these simple requests?  I think the next step is to call your agent.  Your agent has the contact information for someone somewhere who has some control on the set, and your agent should contact that person immediately.  As I mentioned in my previous post, your agent needs to know the law and your agent needs to be willing to advocate for your child.  You want your agent to tell you it’s ok to leave if you feel like your child is unsafe or disregarded – and your agent should take up payment, etc., with the client afterwards.  If your agent hesitates and seems to want you to stay so you don’t lose the booking, maybe it’s time to have a conversation with the agent.

On-camera sets tend to be different.  Modeling is only recently covered under the child performer law, and they probably don’t know all they should about the rights and protections of children.  THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE THEM, but it may explain why they need a reminder about their sets.  Production staffs that do on-camera (or stage) are somewhat more versed in the law, as it has tended to be enforced more with them.  The unions, SAG/AFTRA and AEA, have more stringent protections for the children than the law provides, and they have a representative on set to make sure production complies with union rules, so you know exactly who the point person is when you have concerns.  Unfortunately, modeling has no union – yet – to protect its workers.  Here’s a little political plug: if you are opposed to unions, this is one place where you need to acknowledge and be thankful that they actively protect child performers.  (I could go on, but I’ll spare you.)

The only way conditions for children on sets will improve is if parents and agents know the law and advocate for their children.  If EVERY parent and agent insists on safety, no one would have to fear retaliation by reactionary clients and production.  Safety needs to become the norm – on every set – and should never be questioned.

Reactions?  Responses?  Comment here or on my facebook page (The Bizzy Mama) or you can contact me by email at thebizzymama@gmail.com  You can also check out my Instagram if you want to see my kids and pets: TheBizzyMama