Because beach.

Beach time with the fam.  I'm thinking of all the reasons I'd love to live near a warm, sunny beach (that's like, reasons 1-117 alone) and then a quite serious list of why I simply cannot live in this climate...the most significant of which is...

WHITE PANTS.

Planning MY Vacation!

It's 1:20 am and I need to have my family on a plane tomorrow.  We're taking a 3-generation family trip to visit my wife's aunt in Florida.  I've been super excited for this trip, but I was pretty much on my a$$ Friday and Saturday with a stomach bug...and today we were at a photo shoot...so here I am fumbling around in a quasi-comatose stupor trying to figure out what to pack.  (Ironic that I wrote a piece about this the other day, right?)

So right about now I'm dreaming about my vacation -- you know what I mean: that time JUST FOR ME when we get back from our trip and I am no longer responsible for making sure everyone has what everyone needs 24/7.  My vacation will probably amount to something really great, like trip to Target all by myself.  Because, hey, I'm almost 42, have three kids, and work full time...that's what I do for fun.

I just came up with a most genius idea!  Why doesn't Target have a bar?!?!?!?  (Here in CT, Target can't even sell booze.)  Are you listening, CT lawmakers?  I will promise my vote to anyone who will push for discount department store liquor service licenses!

I've got to shut up and get some sleep.  I'm delirious.

What we were shooting yesterday...a fake wedding!

What TO Wear

I’m often asked about what kids should wear to go-sees and auditions.  I’d probably prefer to write more of a “What Not to Wear!” for the mommies, featuring me as a case study…but we’ll save that for a different day.  There’s a pretty standard answer given by agencies when they tell you how to dress your kiddo, which is “the Gap look.”  Honestly, I think it’s a pretty dated answer because if we’re talking Gap: 2015, that could be anything – they have a pretty wide assortment of clothes.  I’m thinking this is more Gap: circa 1995, when solid polos, tees, and khakis reigned king.  (Those of you Gen X’ers will remember the old chestnut, “Would you like socks with that?”)  Maybe a better definition for today would be “a little preppy” but even that sounds kind of stodgy.  I’m not going to go as far as, “Let your kid choose his or her own outfit!” because no one, including myself, wants to see my daughter in an Elsa t-shirt and stained leggings.  I’ll share a couple of my standards, and you can interpret them as you wish.

I tend to aim for solid tops.  I avoid anything overly colorful or emblazoned with giant logos, just because they may be distracting.  The problem is, it’s actually hard to find things kids really like without something written on it.  If you can snag some solid-colored shirts in colors that look good on your kids, just have some on hand and keep one or two in the mom-bag and slip it onto the kid before you walk into the casting.  If your kid has a few words or a design on the shirt, just make sure it’s toned down and definitely not a rival brand to the one that is seeing you.  My daughter’s go-to outfits have been tunic-style tops or swingy tops and leggings for cooler weather and cotton sundresses for warmer weather.  Her “lucky outfit” was a Gap chambray (that really lightweight woven denim) shirt with a slight A-line that was tunic length with grey or black leggings.  That shirt lasted for about two years.  I loved that shirt and wanted one for myself.  She’s outgrown it and I’ve replaced it with an Oshkosh version – same fabric but with small white polka dots – but it just doesn’t have that nice A-line cut and is a little shorter than I like with leggings.  She’s also getting to be more of a girl than a little girl (or toddler, when she started!) so she’s wearing more jeans – which don’t go well with chambray, of course.  We’re evolving.

In my consultation with boy moms, the same rules tend to prevail:  jeans or khakis/cargo pants or shorts, and a solid shirt – again, to the extent possible.  A surf board or lizard or something like that on a t-shirt is certainly not a deal breaker.  A lot of moms like the “shirt-jac” look of an unbuttoned shirt serving as a top layer, just to add a little interest to the outfit.  It can be easily removed if the CD wants less of a layered look.  I also think you can never go wrong with a jean jacket – boy or girl.  I think the look should match the kid’s style – if your son has long rocker hair, he’s going to look great in jeans and a baseball-style concert shirt.  When in doubt, aim toward the style of brand that’s casting. 

Notice I said the style of the brand that’s casting.  Punk-rock is probably not going to work for Vineyard Vines…and Lilly Pulitzer might not be what Vince wants to see.  (Although, I’ve been known to create great hybrid looks for myself.  My beloved sophomore year English teacher told me my style was “Laura Ashley Gets Stoned.”  I was NOT a stoner, but he was definitely onto something.  And he had an eye for style.  He was a theatre person.  I’ve been known to wear a Lebowski t-shirt with Lilly Pulitzer shorts.  It really tied the look together!  But I digress…)  I have a piece of advice, and I think many agents will be with me on this one.  I advise AGAINST wearing the brand of clothes to the brand’s casting.  Here’s why.  Designers and stylists want the clothes shown in a size that fits the kid.  And by “fits the kid”, I mean something we would call “too small.”  We always buy our kids clothes a little “up” from what they wear at that moment, because we want them to wear the clothes for more than one day.  If the stylist recognizes the brand on the child, the stylist may not like the fit – and think the child doesn’t look good in their clothes.  Here’s a major fail that we experienced: two years ago, I dressed my daughter in the brand for a casting and she booked.  Yay, me!  Great idea!  But I used that same mindset the next time we went to that company, and I put my daughter in the brand…and the agent was pushing my daughter “up” a little since she was almost but not exactly the right size…and the stylist LOOKED AT THE TAG in my daughter’s dress, saw it was smaller than the size they wanted, and BAM, I’m fairly certain that took us out of the running.  I do know of one brand that supposedly looooves seeing the kids at castings wearing their clothes, but that kind of makes me angry since I think they just want you to go out and buy some, which I refuse to do.  So, in general, I think your odds are better to aim for the “look” but not the exact brand.  And…don’t dress your kid in overly large clothes.  I don’t care if you think it’s your kid’s best outfit.  Wear a less-great outfit that fits better.

My last tip would be to realize your kid might be trying on clothes at a casting.  Try to think in terms of easy-off/easy-on – especially if your kid is older and would be changing himself/herself.  Consider the shoes in this scenario as well.  If you have a baby, a lot of castings actually like to see the baby in a diaper or solid onesie – so plan for that.  Thirty-eight snaps and 4 layers will only hold everyone up. 

What did I leave out?  Add a comment here, on my facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or send me an email at thebizzymama@gmail.com …I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.  Don’t forget to share the love by clicking on the brown banner below my daughter's picture…I want to become a top-ten Mommy Blogger! 

The dress that worked at the casting...

What's in MY bag?

Admit it.  You read Us magazine.  (And if you don’t, why?  Oh, right…you’re probably a more self-actualized person than I am.)  They have a page every week called, “What’s in My Bag?” and you see a star’s purse all tumbled out with things like mascaras and a debit card splayed around.  They never seem to show the Xanax and spare pair of control-tops, but whatever.  I’ll tell you what’s in my model-mom bag, because I seem to be that person who has some certain thingy that comes in really handy.

I actually tend to carry diaper bags.  Not the seafoam-green kind with little chicks on them; I opt for the more fashion-forward utilitarian types.  If you spend much time walking around New York, you’ll observe that people tend to carry bags.  Pretty substantial bags.  Really cute little purse?  Out-of-towner.  Think of all the little handy things you keep in your car.  Because New Yorkers walk and use public transportation pretty much always, all of those handy items get lugged around in bags.  (Seriously, even the guys are always carrying a backpack or something.)  I like diaper bags because they are roomy and have a ton of inner pockets.  I have a variety that I like to switch up; a couple of Kate Spades (including the one I received from my college BFF back in 1998 for my first baby shower), a Brooklyn Industries messenger bag (not actually a diaper bag, but we used it as one) and my current model, a Danzo I snagged on Gilt for less than half of retail.  This bag has pockets.  And they are clear.  CLEAR!  Genius.

Here are the essentials:

Wipes.  I don’t care how old your kid is, there will be a smudge of something somewhere.  You can transition to those adult Wet-Ones type wipes if your child would be mortified if you whipped out a packet of Huggies wipes.  Fortunately, we’re not there yet. 

Chap-stick or similar.  I’m a fan of Kiehl’s lip balm…I usually don’t do anything to my daughter’s lips, but during those times of the year when they are so dry, I like to keep them from cracking.

A red plastic folder with a bunch of those clear-plastic slide-in sheaths for all of the paperwork we need.  I have photocopies of the permit, birth certificate, social security card, and bank account paperwork.  (Now that I write this, I realize you could totally steal my daughter’s identity.  DON’T.  You need this stuff for many photoshoots and ALL on-camera work.)  I also have a book of vouchers in there.  I chose a red folder because it’s easy to spot.  I also have a zipper-pocket in there just for receipts.

Pictures.  I keep these in a sheath in the red folder as well.  I have a few 5x7s with our agency, stats, and contact info on the back; and an 8x10 or two with her on-camera resume stapled to the back.  Don’t carry too many of these around at once.  I’m almost never asked to leave them at go-sees or auditions, and if you have all the stats on the back, you’re going to end up with outdated information before you go through them all.

Medical and first aid supplies.  I always carry my own Excedrin and Benadryl, because I get allergy/sinus migraines from time-to-time and I don’t want to be caught without.  Recently, I started carrying a bottle of children’s ibuprofen as well, because my daughter got headachey and feverish at the end of a shoot and a mom who happens to be a pediatric specialist (shout out!!!) let me bum some from her stash…which made for a much more comfortable ride home for my daughter.  I also keep some Band-Aids on hand – not because we’ve ever actually needed a Band-Aid, but if you have a young child you know they can be somewhat magical.

Hair do-dads.  My daughter has long hair that gets a rotten case of car-seat head after a long ride, so I always need a brush to tame that upon arrival.  I keep some elastics as well, in case I need a quick pony tail or side braid to get her hair back (usually at on-camera auditions).  Keep it simple.  You don’t need any frilly bows or headbands.  My babysitter keeps a little spray bottle of detangler in the bag as well – very helpful.  A couple of little neutral claw-clips are good as well if you want to pin just a little hair back or off to the side.  We’re growing out bangs now, so they will become an important tool for us.

Money.  How to keep track of and pay for expenses is a subject for an entertainment accountant.  Simply, though, on a day-to-day basis, you will need small cash for tips at parking garages or tips for small purchases like Starbucks. 

Metro-cards.  If you use a lot of public transportation, keep two on hand at all times.  I have ended up several times with a stupid useless balance or a card that just won’t work despite multiple swipes.  If you need to rush and can’t wait for another train or bus, have those handy.  Recently, there have been lots of articles and tips about how much money to put on the card so you don’t end up with those useless balances.

Snacks and drinks.  You need CLEAN, dry snacks, like plain goldfish and pretzels, to avoid any staining of clothes or hands or faces.  Water is perfect, but if your kid is like my daughter and not a water person, get some clear juices like flavored waters or those colorless Capri-Suns.  If your kid only drinks whole-vegan- raw kale/mango/beet juice, I cannot help you on this one.  Throw in a couple of lollipops or a box of tic-tacs or some little treat to use as motivation or pick-me-up if necessary.  Have extra, because the other kids at the shoot will want some, too.

Lunch for picky eaters.  My daughter is a picky eater.  (Seriously, I don’t really understand why…my other kids weren’t at that age.)  See above about clean foods.  I’ll bring along a couple of simple things I know she will eat in case the lunch at a shoot is out of her tolerability range.

Spare clothes.  You never know.  I’ve whittled this down as my daughter has gotten older and I pretty much just keep socks and underwear at this point.

Purell.  Self-explanatory.

Chargers.  Notice I say chargerS.  You will always need to charge your phone and ipad at the same time.  I don’t know why that happens, but it does.  Take a small piece of paper and put your kid’s name, cell #, and agency.  Then affix that paper with a long piece of tape (so the tape folds over and covers the whole paper) to your cord.  Also label the little power block.  So many people leave chargers at studios that this little step may actually save you the need to buy a new one.  Some nice mom or production person may just save it and contact you or your agency about it.

Toys and books your kid never sees except for at shoots.  I keep a baggie of crayons and plain paper as well as a few art-type toys that only come out at shoots.  I find that plain paper is usually more satisfying and fun for more kids than coloring books.  It’s also way cheaper.  A pack of blank index cards has also known to be endlessly entertaining.  I avoid markers because of staining and markers will often freak out wardrobe people at the mere mention.  Older kids like little games like Uno and other travel-sized things.  A couple of action figures (or trolls, or ponies, or princesses) are fun, too.

Tablets are also a must.  If you are a “no electronics” parent, realize your kid will be sitting there, shoulder-to-shoulder glued to another kid and his tablet.  I’m glad you’re a no electronics parent, really, that’s great…but it’s probably not realistic in 2015 in the child performer industry.  You can always be screen-free at home and in the car.  (But…I kind of think the day you get stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel for three hours you may wish you had that tablet.)  Feel free to choose that battle if you want to, but I’m out.

Optional items: I’ve never seen such happy moms as when I pulled out a power strip at Petite Parade.  A zillion moms and two outlets?  See above: chargers.  And, let’s be honest here, no one ever regretted having a cork screw.

What did I leave out?  I’ve written this in about thirty 2-minute segments, so I’ve probably forgotten something really important.  Let me know here, on my facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or hit up my email at thebizzymama@gmail.com.  I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.

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Red flag? Run away!

Another holiday weekend down…no one got sick from too much candy and family strife was kept at a minimum. (Seventeen year old boys…anyone?  Anyone?  Rough species.)  I hope you all had a good weekend as well!

I think I’ll dig into the topic of reputable agencies.  This past Friday night, 20/20 aired a segment on the mall-trawling “talent agency” interFACE.  I’m not sure they were a nation-wide agency, but basically you would be walking through the mall or amusement park with your child and a “talent scout” would stop you.  The pitch was something like, “How old is your child?...because she is exactly what we are looking for!”  Their goal was to get you excited to think your child was being “discovered” and then sell you a bunch of photo shoot packages (all of which are completely unnecessary to beginning a child’s modeling career).  The story revealed the high-pressure sales tactics and the methods they used to prey on the dreams of children and parents.  Former employees spoke to the reporter and 20/20 sent a family in, undercover, with hidden cameras, to document the actual transactions.  Really, it was kind of sickening. 

Sickening, for sure…but if I had a dollar for every time I heard of a friend of a friend getting sucked into something like that, I’d probably be able to buy a few pitchers of margaritas and some good guac at Dos Amigos (my local Mexican joint…come join me!).  And really, other than the many red flags associated with such incredible amounts of money – thousands of dollars – how would parents know that the actual industry doesn’t work that way?  Let me think for a moment about the actual amount of money I have paid to any agency from my own pocket to represent my child.  Ok, that was easy…zero dollars.  (That is not to say there are not expenses associated with the career itself…more on that in the future.  Suffice it to say shelling out $26 to park my car is nowhere near shelling out thousands to a scam agency.)

So here’s how it works.  First of all, no agency will stop you and “discover you.”  Now, I say “no agency” and for 99.9% of the time that is what I mean.  I am aware of one agent telling me one time she stopped one kid on the street.  So, that’s one.  Has it happened other times?  Probably.  But none of the reputable NYC agencies make any practice out of street-casting.  There are some casting directors and casting agencies that will occasionally do street casting.  My daughter once did a print ad for a major insurance company for which the adults in the ad campaign were street-cast in Central Park.  They wanted “real” people.  And the woman who posed with my daughter as her “grandmother” was a) like, my age and 2) paid five figures.  Seriously, a once-in-a-lifetime lucky break.  (And my daughter was paid about 10% of that amount, so…maybe I’m a little bitter.  But, whatever.  A story for a different day.)  There is a casting director who does street casting and puts casting notices up on social media for major, major, major brand campaigns…so you don’t even need to be an “official” model (but the kids who get booked usually are anyway).

Kids who are signed with the major agencies have been submitted to the agencies by their parents.  Submission is free, and I explained that process in an earlier post.  If you are invited to work with an agency, they may offer an actual written contract or a verbal “good faith” agreement.  The contract would basically spell out the responsibilities to each party to the contract – both the child and the agency.  The most important part of the contract is the agreement that the agency will receive payment from the client – when you deal with money, you do kind of need that stuff spelled out.  The contract also has some other expectations – you aren’t a party to another contract, each side can terminate the contract with notice, and a period of time for the contract to be in effect.

Listen up.  According to New York law, a minor can only be locked into a labor contract (and by labor, I mean entertainment, because there really aren't any other jobs in which young minors can work) if a contract has been reviewed by a judge familiar with such matters.  Worth knowing here, I’m not a licensed, practicing attorney – but I play one on TV.  (Kidding.  I do teach law, though…so hopefully I can at least be clear what I’m talking about.)  If you have real concerns about contracts, FIND and SPEAK TO a licensed, practicing attorney with knowledge of entertainment law.  The only circumstances I know of in which judges typically sign off on such contracts is when a minor is going to execute a HUGE $$$ contract – like a starring role in a movie, or something, in which both parties want to be sure everything is set in stone about payment.  This does NOT mean that any contract you sign is void by virtue of involving a minor.  What it means, for the most part, is that the minor and guardian can void the contract at any time.  If an agent tells you that you cannot terminate your contract, they are just plain using unfounded scare tactics…and your kid must be a good booker, because they don’t want to lose you.  That said, either my friends or I with have experience with every major legitimate agency in New York and NOT ONE of those agencies would hold you to a contract you wish to terminate.  NOT ONE.

The final thing I will address here in relation to the interFACE story on 20/20 is pictures.  None of the agencies will require you to purchase any pictures from them.  In fact, that arrangement is actually illegal in California for good reason.  It’s a huge conflict of interest.  Modeling agencies should only be making money from your bookings: 20% from you and 20% from the client.  (On-camera in New York is only 10%.)  There are a few things agencies may charge that they would deduct from your earnings.  These are website fees (usually $10-$15 a month; some are actually free); comp card printing fees (but I have never gotten any and they are probably totally unnecessary now; you can also make your own); and sometimes something like messenger fees (which are also out-dated and should be eliminated, in my opinion, because they date back to when submissions were made by agents piling up comp cards and sending them to clients – now it’s mostly all electronic).

If an agent expects you to shoot pictures with him/her and pay – even out of your earnings and not up-front – RUN.  It’s not standard practice and it’s taking advantage of you.  The only kids who probably need photos are kids who do on-camera as well as modeling and older kids (like 5 or 6 and up) who are just starting out and don’t have any good tear-sheets (the ads or catalogs in which your kid appeared) for submissions.  If and when you may need some pictures taken, get a list of recommended photographers, look at their work and prices, and choose your own.  When you choose your package, I really don’t recommend those packages with four looks of styled photographs, either.  You really only need one set of clear, natural shots with some headshots and some full body.  This is probably called something like a one-look mini-session.  Agents really can’t use the highly-styled looks for submissions and they will probably end up being more for you to put over your mantle.  Also: NO MAKEUP.  None.  Maybe a touch of concealer if necessary and a dab of lip gloss (and I mean dab).  Look online at the kids on the gap, Hanna Andersson, and Oshkosh websites.  You want your kids to look like that.

Brace yourselves, because here is where I’m going to get the hate mail and threats of being sued for defamation* (trying to keep myself from falling out of my chair laughing).  There is an agency in NYC that appears to be a legitimate agency.  They have kids that book great campaigns.  But the agency does really shady things on a regular basis.  Right away, they make you buy pictures, taken by the agent, and they deduct the money from future pay.  If you don’t make money, you owe them whatever the cost.  They make parents buy ridiculous amounts of overpriced comp cards – which I’ve said before I don’t use and have been asked for, now, exactly two times (and both times a regular 5x7 picture was sufficient).  They manipulate parents into promoting the agency via social media, including a new blog about one family’s story of their daughter’s success and fame – that actually inspired me to write my own “let’s get realistic” version of child modeling stories.  The agency has done photo shoots for kids claiming it was a “test shoot” (usually a free shoot) when it was an actual, paid shoot for which the client paid the model fee – but it was kept by the agency.  So, with all of those red flags, the agency preys on parents – many from out of the NYC area – and their dreams for their kids.  Sound familiar?  It’s a lot like interFACE.

Ok, long post today.  Hope it made sense – lots of distractions.  Want to respond?  Comment here, hit me up on my facebook page, The Bizzy Mama, or via email at thebizzymama@gmail.com.

*Truth is an absolute defense to any claim of defamation.  BAM.

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I'm NOT in any hot water.

So a part of my hot water heater blew out and hot water was spraying all over my basement for, oh, I dunno, probably at least a full day.  The tip-off was coming home from work to my smoke detectors blaring in unison and being unable to find any sign of smoke…until I opened the cellar door and was smacked in the face by cloying musty moisture.  The steam had set off the smoke detector (at the top of the stairs) and I had no choice but to enter the dungeon (I really only go down there to pull bottles of wine from the cases to bring upstairs) and slog across a soaked carpet to the utility room to see inches of water on the floor and a fountain of water spewing out of the top of the tank…suffice it to say, I stopped dead in my tracks and started saying, “No.  No. NO.  NOOOOO.  OH HELL NO!” in increasing volume.  Now, I grew up with an incredibly handy father, an equally handy step-father, and a grandfather who was a building contractor.  My ex-husband engineers power plants for nuclear-powered aircraft carriers, so he was pretty good at wiring and plumbing.  When things went wrong, we just used in-house skilled labor.  Incidentally, I’m pretty handy.  My wife is pretty handy.  You can pretty much build a house from watching a series of two-minute YouTube videos.  But this hot water heater is…wait for it…wait for it…hooked up to NATURAL GAS.  That requires actual licensed professionals…and, well, my grandfather has long since passed, so it involves calling actual strangers to come into my house.  I’m not really good at that.  The electric dog fence we got about eight years ago is really the only time I ever hired anyone to do anything.

So after a day and a half without hot water (don’t get grossed out, we shower at my mom’s house), I found someone reliable to come in to give me the scoop.  Here’s what I heard:

“Prepare to sell a kidney.  $$$.  We don’t walk across Lego, even with work boots on.  OSHA.  Move the cases* of wine out of our way so we can get to the basement access.  Seriously, I’ve never seen that much wrapping paper before.  How many Rubbermaid totes of K’Nex does one family need?  That’s a lot of books.  Guitar Hero?  Really?”

That’s what I heard.  I believe the guy was actually telling me about systems and prices and energy…but all I could hear in my mind amounted to, basically, “What a sh!thole.  You need to do something about this basement, Di.”  What better than a hot, moist, swamp for my holiday weekend destination.  Right?

Anyway, all that is why I’m not posting about the first photo shoot this morning.  I’ve got hot water on the brain.  I’m expecting the email with the estimates this morning, and we will choose our magic new hot water system and live happily – albeit destitute – ever after.

Not sure if I’ll post this weekend…but I promise the first photo shoot will appear here soon.  My daughter has a go-see and an audition this afternoon, so our super-nanny will run her around the city.  I’ll report back on the outcome.

*Trader Joes does not sell wine in CT since CT’s liquor laws are so archaic.  I rely on family to import my three-buck-Chuck from out of state.  Cases are just…efficient.

Next time: maybe modeling; maybe hot water.

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Avon calling!

I’m going to return, today, to my “learning to be a model mom” series.  Thank you to all the people who contributed to the discussion about how children appear in photographs.  I got a lot of great feedback and I know the discussion will not end anytime soon.

The story of our first go-see makes me laugh a little…in a comedy-of-errors sort of way.  While I had begun my investigation of the industry in October of 2011, we didn’t really dive in until June of 2012.  I wanted to be fully ready for the commitment and be able to say “how high?” when asked to jump – because that’s basically how it works.  And on that day of the first go-see, that was what I did. 

My wife and I are teachers, and it was the last day of school – a half day.  We picked up our daughter around 11:30 and started driving to Six Flags.  It was that great parental quest for the perfect start to summer.  Water park, spinny rides, and crap food.  (Hi, I’m American!)  Not too far on our way, I got a call from a 212 number (I hadn’t programmed any contacts into my phone yet, but I knew it would be something modeling related).

“Avon wants to see your daughter before 3:30.  Here’s the address.  Ask for so-and-so.”

Um, ok.  Great!  A go-see.  But…and here’s where a lot of moms can relate…that fun day at the amusement park just gets thrown out the window…which is going to cause disappointment for all involved.  Consternation ensues.  And we were already on the way.  In the opposite direction of the city.  (We were driving through Simsbury, CT, at the time, for a point of reference.)

So we turned around.  Back home, I put my daughter into a solid-colored shirt and pants and tamed her hair.  I grabbed a bag of snacks, pull-ups (so glad to be done with all that), pictures, spare clothes, wipes…you get the picture.  And off we went to the city.

Being an intrepid city girl, I followed my ALWAYS PARK ON THE STREET ethos, got a spot in my old neighborhood, and hopped on the subway.  So far so good.  Now, here’s the issue.  My old neighborhood is on the west side…#1 train.  Avon is located on Third Avenue around 48^th Street.  Those of you who know the city know that there are very few ways to get from the west side to the east side without taking three trains.  And, I had a young, small three year old and no stroller – since strollers are a GIANT PAIN IN THE ASS ON THE SUBWAY.  I opted for the #1 to the shuttle and decided to walk from there.

Wow, that was brutal.  Managing my daughter and a bag…for several REALLY BUSY MIDTOWN BLOCKS on a very very hot June day…epic fail.

Now, if you’re not a city person and this is all jibberish to you – beware.  I include it because if you are going to join this industry, you really need to go through my thought process.  Street or garage?  Stroller or walking?  Taxi, bus, or subway?  Fastest route?  Cocktail or pharmaceutical?

We made it to Avon alive (significant feat considering a 36” tall person walking on shoulder-to-shoulder midtown sidewalks is a recipe for disaster – think briefcases and roll-y bags).  What I learned later was that go-sees, especially big ones for major companies’ Christmas catalogs, typically happen in a photo studio.  This one, however, was at Avon’s headquarters because they had their big casting already but apparently did not find what they were looking for.  We found the spot we were looking for, waited a few minutes, and were met by a couple of women who scrutinized my daughter for a few minutes.  Then, they asked me to put a dress on her (my daughter was already hot and tired so this was not exactly a thrilling experience for her).  Finally buttoned into the shiny red dress, they had her stand against a white wall and took out an iphone to snap some pictures.  Upon being asked to smile, my daughter stuck out her tongue.  And kept doing it.  One of the women was like, “Um, does she always do this?” and of course I said something to the tune of, “Oh no, never!  She’s a pro at this!”  Good thing I was not attached to a lie detector.

Maybe I cajoled a smile or at least a non-distorted face from her, we changed her back to her neutral outfit, and went on our way.  I’m fairly certain we took the M4 bus back to our car unless the grueling walk back to the subway has been thankfully erased from my mind.  We probably stopped at Starbucks or grabbed some food from Ollie’s on 116^th (yummmmm) and took our time going home.

My words to my wife when I got home?  Something like, “Well, that was fun while it lasted!” ç sarcasm.  “She is definitely not cut out for this business.”  My game plan?  None.  Game over.

Until she got a hold.

Next time: the first photo shoot.