Sunday, April 19, 2015

My "Wannabe" Target Lilly Experience

I’ve been wondering if I should even tell you about the b!tch fight I had this morning with a NASTY woman at Target…who had the nerve to call me an animal since I didn’t realize she was crawling on the ground reaching for a Lilly Pulitzer deck umbrella.  But, hey, why not.  We’re all friends here, right?  I got up early like all good Lilly aficionados to stand on line outside my local Target (and by local. I mean LOCAL – not even one whole song on the radio local).  The line was full of jovial women in good spirits; eager to get their Lilly on.  I waited about 15 minutes, proceeded to follow my strategy of accessories, children’s, beauty accessories and then home goods.  At home goods, I was reaching for a set of wine glass tags when this woman yelled – to no one in particular, I thought – to move out of her way.  I realized there was a woman on the ground trying to pull a large item from the bottom shelf of the display.  Of course I moved out of the way and probably excused myself, not realizing I had gotten all up in her jam.  She then carried the giant thing to her cart and said something quite loudly under her breath about me being an animal.  Deep cleansing breath.  Another deep cleansing breath.  I walked back over to her and said, “We’re all having fun here this morning.  You just need to be nice.”  Obviously, I’ve spent too much time as a teacher, because any other sane person would have told the woman exactly where to go and how to get there.  She proceeded to raise her voice and tell me how rude I was.  Me! 

And then.  This happened.  This really happened. 

She said, “If you could afford the real thing, you wouldn’t be here.  Wannabe!”

All I could say was, “You’re here too!”  As if I was some slug of the earth by waiting on line at Target to get Lilly Pulitzer designed for Target at Target prices.  And she was ahead of me on the line!  Buying the same cut-rate Lilly I was buying!  She then went on to continue calling me rude and I reminded her once or twice more that she was in exactly the same place I was.  And all I wanted was for her to be NICE.  Like every other person in the store was this morning.  But no, she had to call me out for standing in a place where I couldn’t even see her.  But I’m a wannabe.  I guess because I actually WAS in the Lazy Daisy in Vero Beach three days ago, I deserve to have some miserable ***censored*** tell me anything about what I can and cannot afford.  Of course I could not afford to buy what I bought this morning at actual Lilly retail.  But I want to point out: SHE WAS THERE TOO!  And, I’m nice.  And I don’t need to say sh!tty stuff to people to feel better about myself.  (And, for the record, I started my Lilly collection about 17 years ago when the brand re-launched after being on hiatus for a while.  True that I’ve never paid full retail – but I don’t pay full retail for anything.  And let’s just say that if I were 50 lbs lighter, I’d have a significant assortment of fabulous Lilly things to wear on a regular basis.  Am I over-compensating here?  Maybe.  But, please, IRONY!)

So I’m just going to say that I won Target this morning and that despicable troll can just go back to her superior cave and grow some moss where she belongs.  And, as a friend (shout out!!!) pointed out, we're all animals.  At least I'm housebroken!

How did your Target experience go this morning?  Add a comment here, on my facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or send me an email at …I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.  Don’t forget to share the love by clicking on the brown banner below…I want to become a top-ten Mommy Blogger!  I'm #12 in Family Life blogs.  Can we go higher?
Already wearing the "princess dress"

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