Friday, April 24, 2015

The Real Housewives of the Secret Shame

We all have secret shames.  I probably have more than most; I’ll hang a few out there for you.  I eat Girl Scout cookies in the dark after ferreting them out of hiding places in my pantry.  I have a purse farm in my son’s closet that I sometimes just go and look at…yet I carry the same old bags all the time.  I have clothes in my closet from every adult size I have ever been – despite Real Simple’s ongoing admonishment to purge. 

I am a Bravo TV junkie.

Hardcore.  When I was kvetching about having no internet in Florida last week, I was at least – if not more – distraught about not having access to my Bravo shows.  I just didn’t advertise it as much.  Now that you know I can, in fact, have words with a woman at the Target Lilly event, you might as well know about my Bravo thing.  I’m particularly fond of the Real Housewives.  In order: NYC, BH, NJ/OC (tie), ATL.  ç you wondered, right?  And I watch all the other Bravo shows, too, sooooo…it’s just kind of my thing.  And I watch them over and over.  Like, my TV has only one channel, for the most part.  Mind you, I don’t pay attention every minute, but I can be pretty sure that by the third time I’ve had the episode on I’ve seen every bit of it.

If you’re turning up your nose at me, reflect a moment.  People have said “Eeewww, how can you watch that!”-type things to my face.  I didn't exactly go all Target-animal on them, but...I’m sure you have some show or thing or whatever I might not understand.  Maybe it’s football or dog shows or something.  Thank goodness for my mom.  My mother (shout out!!!  Hi, mom!) is a fellow Bravo devotee, and we have been known to discuss these people as if they are our family members.  Like, seriously in-depth analytical conversations.  And I’d love to be an episode re-capper!  I don’t think I could ever top Julie Klausner, who did the recaps for NY Magazine before she began writing her own show, so I’m afraid to even try.

Do you think less of me?  I mean, I’ve talked a good game about my knowledge of the child modeling industry.  I’m quite well-educated.  I read good stuff.  I have mad investigative skills.  I guess I am a little paranoid, though.  People judge, right?  And reality TV does seem to rank at the bottom of some people’s TV food chains.  Tell me that you are a Bravo junkie, though, and it’s like we have a bond.

Sometimes, I wonder, would I ever do reality TV?  Have I watched so many hours of Bravo shows that I know better?  Or would it be kind of fun?  Is it like a New York street shell game: you think you’ve studied all the ins and outs and can outsmart the producers?  Or will you have your season of being a total b!otch/skank/psycho regardless?  What about a scripted series based on my life where I play myself but have creative control?  Because those are becoming things now, too.  Julie Klausner has one coming out.

This is where you hear the record screeching to a dead stop noise: would I be interesting enough to watch?

Well, I guess that ended that!

Going on a little adventure this weekend.  It may or may not be related to this post.  I may or may not have anything interesting to report back.  But like any good reality show, you need a good cliffhanger…so there you go!

What’s your take on reality TV?  Add a comment here, on my facebook page The Bizzy Mama, or send me an email at …I’m also on Instagram at TheBizzyMama.  Don’t forget to share the love by clicking on the brown icon below…I want to become a top-ten Mommy Blogger!  I’m somewhere in the top 50!

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